Have you ever felt like the Lord is really trying to talk to you? I mean, REALLY, trying to talk to you. Like, if I were to turn the corner and a bible fell on my head, I wouldn't be surprised.
If you know me at all, then you know I'm pretty OCD about things. I want my house cleaned my way. I want my classroom set up my way. I want the bed made my way. I want the refrigerator organized my way. Are you seeing a trend here?
The G.O.D., he laughs at our plans. Not to mock us, but to show us that His plan is so much better than ours. It's true. There have been many times that He has changed my plan only to show me that His was way cooler in the first place. If my plan had played out, I'm pretty sure I'd be a divorced mother of three with no college degree. (My mother is nodding in agreement to this statement) Fortunately, He knows better, and the heartarche and struggle has been worth it. (God is nodding in agreement to this statement)
Recently, I have felt that this surgery was all part of His greater plan, too. Not a plan for me to suffer, but a plan for me to learn to let go and slow down. These past three weeks have not been easy. My husband and I have argued. My pain has been both bearable and unbearable. My plans have been put on hold to make room for His plans. Luckily, my God is a gracious God. His word eases my pain.
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask your God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."
1 Peter 1:6-7
"Because you know this you have great joy. You may have joy even though you may have had to suffer for a while. You may have had to suffer sadness in all kinds of trouble. Your troubles have come in order to prove that your faith is real. It is worth more than gold. Your faith is meant to bring praise, honor, and glory to God. That will happen when Jesus Christ returns."
He never promised His plan to be easy, but His plan is right for me. My husband and I have grown closer through the disagreements. I have learned to lean on him and Him. I cannot do it all, but His scripture is full of His promises for me. And who knows me better than the one who knew me before I was formed in the womb? (Jeremiah 1:5)